Ode to my Boi.

When i think of you my Boi,my eyes well up,
When i remember back when you were a pup.
You had a white butterfly pattern on your chest,
I was so smitten with you,i felt so blessed.
Distant memories of our time together seem so close,
My life with you i enjoyed the most.
Going in the car was your favourite thing,
With your head out the window observing everything,
Visiting beaches,parks,places with swings.
You ran fast and free from tree to tree,
Sniffing which places to leave your pee.
Pooping on rocks,bushes and shrubs,
You were so funny my Boi and loved my hugs.
An awesome guard dog who protected me well,
Protecting our home and children as well.
You would always bark only when needed,
When you knew my attention was to be heeded.
Other dogs barked but you'd only respond,
Standing stiff and staunch until they were gone.
Although you looked tough,some people were scared,
Your dominant presence which most people feared.
I found it quite funny,if only they knew,
You were checking them out before they're let through.
You were never a danger to good human beings,
But you loved to chase cats,one of your favourite things.
You loved the water not afraid to dive in,
Waves or still lakes you always went in.
Strong,true and brave are what describes you,
A mixed bully breed,tough as nails through and through.
You were also a hunter with a nose like a hound,
You would always find things that could never be found.
Three hour bush walks,adventures you adored,
I always made sure you never were bored.
Il never forget your whiney sounds,
When you wanted your food placed on the ground,
When you wanted the door open to go outside,
Or you wanted to go in the car for a ride.
I rarely went out and left you at home,
But when i'd get back you'd let it be known,
You were mad with me,you'd moan and groan,
"Don't do that again mum,don't leave me at home".
You'd raise your lips and show me your teeth,
Then lay on your back,squeal and scream,
As though you were happy to see me again,
Also letting me know not to leave you again.
I'll miss the way you'd arrange your bed,
Shuffling your blanket with your paws,nose and head,
You wanted to make a comfy nest,to sleep and dream on your memory foam bed.
When you'd catch a bumble or a bee,
And pick it up gently in between your teeth,
You'd toss it around and shake your head,
Till it was soaked in saliva and almost dead.
You were so cute and unique my beautiful son,
You are my baby as i'll never have one.
When you got too old and tired to bare,
I knew it was your time to leave me here.
You tried so hard to stay with me,
Right to the end you let me see,
That it was my time to let you go for now,
I know we'll be together again someway,somehow.
Our family will be complete again,
We just don't know how or when.
Now i faced the moment i had feared for years,
That heartbreaking decision was finally here.
It helped me a bit that i had prepared,
But i still couldn't hold back the flood of tears.
I tried to be strong so you would not stress,
I knew later that night i'd be such a mess.
I held your face close,your nose against mine,
I said go to sleep my Boi,it's ok,it's your time.
That night i stared deep into your eyes,as you passed away the tears started again,
I felt a sense of peace that you were no longer in pain.
As hard as it was to just leave you there,
I kissed you once more and thought this is not fair.
I looked at your body and touched your face,
I Whispered "i love you" then kissed your face.
As i went to leave i closed the door,
But i had to go back and look once more.
I needed to kiss you and hug you again,
I hope you can see me my son,my friend.
This was the worst gut wrenching pain,
With knowing il never touch you again.
As i was leaving i looked once more,
I took a mental picture of you,for my memory to store.
It felt so wrong driving away,
I never have left you any night,any day.
For the first time in nearly 16 years,
I left you with strangers and i hope they cared.
I hoped they would treat you with respect and care,
Just like i did when you were here.
When i get home without you there,
The memories of you,so fresh and so clear.
Everywhere i looked reminded me of you,
I wasn't so sure if i was going to get through.
Now your bed sits empty,your collar and leash unused,
Your water bowl and half eaten food still lay in my view,
But Im not ready to move them as they remind me of you.
Your fur on the floor that had dropped from your coat,
Every memory of you leaves a lump in my throat.
Pictures and photos i'll place everywhere,
To remind us all that you are still near.
Now it's just me,my loyal shadow is gone,
But i know you are with me,your spirit is strong.
Even though i cant touch you and it feels so wrong,
My love for you will forever live on.
Your cremated now,by my side as i yearn,
My tears that I've cried have dried on your urn,
I will see you again precious Boi,when it's my turn.
Our memories together forever etched in my mind,
Our hearts are one and our souls are bind.

My best mate,my loyal shadow who followed me everywhere,even to the toilet,my Boi who came everywhere with me in the car,my Boi who always showed me unconditional love and who comforted me at my worst moments. You saved me so many times,i always felt safe and never felt alone with you there. Thank you so much for the nearly 16 years we had together,until we meet again xxxxxxxxoooooooooo

P.S Please visit me in my dreams.